Who am I?

 

If you are a small business and you need a turnkey, fully social media integrated sexy website, ask me, I will work for shoes or you may qualify for mate’s rates.   I provide free advice, information and fact sheets on a variety of topics, from trouble-shooting your mobile phones, tablets to protecting and updating your laptops. I can also provide you a crash course in “How to Technology” type of topics.  I can also stick a glass mobile protector on your mobile device, and this is just one of my many skills.

As a former small business owner, I understand how difficult it can be to run a business.  It’s your job, from coffee to decision making, 14-hour days, business on the go, on Bluetooth in your car.  I have done it, and I wish I had someone to help me with the things that I shouldn’t have focussed on.  As a small business, your cash flow is for stock and supplies and not to pay thousands for a basic web presence. I provide advice on generating leads through SEO, Social Media and content marketing.  I have helped many start-up businesses in this space,  including friends and families.  It gives me satisfaction to see a business thrive and if I can assist, I will.  If you don’t have the cash to pay for my services, it’s okay, you just have to pay the costs of a domain name registration and the hosting of your website, and any other related costs for example templates and apps, which may or may not apply to everyone.  I will not charge you for my time, if you are unable to pay for it because you have just started your business and you need a website to make money.  Let’s make a deal and when you get your first yacht, I get the first ride! 

Anyhow, enough about me and my online skills. Let me now tell you a bit about my “other side”, the dark side. I have black hair, dark eyes and dark skin but wait there’s more…… My princess name is “TooManyStilettos”.  I am professionally employed. I read non-fiction, biographies/ autobiographies, selected novels.  I read newspapers while waiting for my skinny latte with half shot of vanilla made at 55 degrees Celsius.

I am a mother to two beautiful daughters.  My first born is 21, and my little one is 14 going on 25.   My girls are my world, and I exist, because of them.   It is not easy raising children on your own, but I think I am going a pretty good job.  My 2 cents to other parents out there, when you want your children to do some work or you don’t see them because they are confined to their smelly caves, just turn off or change the Wi-Fi password.  They will surface along with some of your neighbours 🙂

I am a humanitarian, an ideas diva, I draw on fogged up windows; a powerful multi-tasker, I am a qwerty keyboard basher, and I am much more than it meets the eye.  My life for now, revolves around work, daughters, volunteer work, consulting/website work and not necessary in that order. I do not smoke, and if you do, it’s cool – your life, your choices, and if you wish to blow your money in smokes, while killing yourself a bit each day, good on you.  If you have children, there is a 43.6% chance that they will start smoking before the age of 14.  (Source TBA – don’t quote me on this one).


I am educated and I am fabulous.  I’m an incredible dresser, I’m a hoot and a half and I got a killer rack. I once tried pole dancing but it was an incredibly difficult task and I injured my ankle so I ended up with dance moves without the pole.

I am a great cook (according to this person who I was married to for 21 years, (or was it 22 years) his friends, and my children). The same people have also claimed that I cook the best fish and mud crab curry (with coconut milk).  If you boil your mud crabs, you are not doing any justice to the crabs.  You need to contact me with your mud crabs and I will cook the crabs for you absolutely free. My place, your crab(s), my other ingredients, my time, you bring a six pack crisp Strongbow, or any good cider.  

I can also dust and clean but I don’t fold and iron. I have a green thumb, and I love gardening, I find it therapeutic – I call it my “me-time”.  My plant collection includes a variety of succulents, passion-fruit, lemon, lime, kumquats, chilies, herbs, hibiscus, roses and many more.  

I believe in hard-work, honesty, integrity and my word. I am also a gifted napper. I can spell, and punctuate, but I suck at typing, although I have advanced to 3 fingers each hand from two finger typing.

I am a third generation Indian born and bred in Fiji.  My forebears came to Fiji under the British Indentured System, under which some, 60,500 Indians were transported to Fiji between 1879 and 1916 to work in the plantations in Fiji.  The British and other European colonial powers started the Indian indenture system in 1838, as a cheap source of labour to the colonies after African slavery was abolished in 1833. Under this system, some 1.2 million Indians were displaced from India to the colonies between 1838 and 1916. I have conducted a very extensive research on this subject, it took me a bit over 4 years to compile the data and publish it on a website. My research focuses on the 60,954 Indians who served their indenture in Fiji.  My research website serves as a research tool and a knowledge-base and has been recognised by the National Library of Australia (Canberra). The website is constantly updated with information as it comes to hand and recently, I successfully uploaded the details of the Immigration Passes (similar to a Passport) of the Indentured Labourer’s into a searchable database.  The website is available especially for the descendants of the original Labourers who are passionate to find out more about their history and wish to verify their heritage.  The website is available at www.Girmit.org-Acronym for Agreement

I can also change the washer in a leaking shower, check the level of oil, water in my car. Wipers blades torn, AutoCheap, sells them cheap, its very easy to replace it. I can differentiate between a mechanical and electronic issue in vehicles and when a car breaks down, I will be able to diagnose the problem – exaggeration alert, but I think I will know whether the issue is battery related, a fuse gone, or the starter motor playing up. This skill is particularly important when I take my car for servicing, because I know if my brake pads are gone or not.  I know when the timing belt needs replacement.  These skills were inherited from my first ever (unpaid) and later paid job in a wrecking yard. My position was titled, “Junior Parts Cleaner” and my job was to dissemble and wash parts using diesel – fyi diesel smells foul, petrol is much better.  Therefore, my limited (enough) knowledge in the automotive mechanical space.  I feel it’s important to mention that the wrecking yard was owned by a great man – my (late) Dad, I was also his Bookkeeper and “the Boss’s  dibber-dobber daughter”, as very unprofessionally addressed by his other employees.  I also believe that we are abusing the services of the lovely RACQ Roadside Assist Servicemen, for calling them to change a flat tyre, this is killing our tyre changing skills which I have been proficient in since the age of 14 – for real.

While having a shower, I am either thinking about the origin of the universe or crying while listening to Adele and James Blunt. I do not, I repeat, I do not play any musical instruments, I recently found out that an air guitar is not classified as a musical instrument.

I do not know how to swim – no need to repeat this 🙄 .  I am not a big fan of water in a large area.  I prefer a bathtub and a shower more than a swimming pool. I blame my parents for for seemingly not recognizing swimming as an essential skill.  My mother believed it was more important for me to learn Yoga and Dance, then wander around a public pool in a bathers.  

FYI, I was born and raised in Fiji, and I lived next to the Pacific Ocean.  In my pre-teens, I was collecting shells, when one of my uncles pushed me into the water and the fear of dying in water still remains.   And to this I recite the adage, “The enemy is fear. We think it is hate; but, it is fear.” (Mahatma Gandhi).  I don’t have any enemies, however if fear is one, then I will leave it alone, so no swimming for me.  Fear !  Guess who said “Fear is the path to the Dark Side. Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to suffering.”  I suppose the Dark Side was a giveaway, it was of course the great Yoda.  It’s a bit too deep for me – interpretation of quote, I shall not.  I do not sniff on textas anymore – proud of myself for breaking this big bad habit.  I do not have any pending traffic related fines.

Some years ago, I was working at the Australian Aerospace as a Contract Administrator and managing maintenance contracts for the ARH Tiger and MRH90 Helicopters for the Australian Defence Force.  I had a meeting at the hangers based in the backstreets near the Brisbane domestic airport.  It is important for me to mention that the roads around the hangers are owned by the Brisbane Airport Corporation (BAC).  To cut the long story short, after a couple of weeks I was called in the HR Managers office who showed me a speeding fine, and in complying with the fleet utilisation procedure, I accordingly entered the date and time of using the company car, therefore it was tracked to me.  I got fined for driving 95 in a 60 zone; but wait there is more….  I got another fine for the return trip by the same camera that was strategically placed on that spot, at that particular day and time to get me.  They were after me, seriously why did the Police have to place a speed camera on infrastructure owned by BAC? Roads that are seldom accessed by the general public but contractors and employees of the various businesses about that area (I suppose that makes us general public).  Anyhoo, I got clocked 100 on my return back to the office (again it was 60 zone).  I was in tears.  I took ownership – I could have said ‘it wasn’t me’ but guilt was written all over my face.  I paid $1200 in fines, in installments over 12 months and was given the option to either drive on 1 point for 1 year or have my driving license suspended for 3 months.  I chose option 1 and for 1 year, I felt like I was Morgan Freeman in Driving Miss Daisy.  If you are a member of our very fine, hardworking and underpaid Police Force, I have a lot of respect for you and I love your work – seriously no sarcasm intended; but on this matter, all I ask you is ‘please explain’.  The moral of the story – don’t be a smart-ass and comply with every fleet procedure, had I not entered my name and time of travel in the booking register, they would have never tracked the fines to me.

My gun license is current but I don’t own any firearms.  I have a valid Australia Defence Force clearance    I am a clay shooter, can be an expensive hobby.  I am a legal immigrant and came to Australia based on my skills, education and knowledge. I have paid a lot of tax to the Government and I call Australia home. I am of the opinion that Turnbull needs the boot, Hockey to come back, reinstall Abbot and game on.  Okay maybe not Hockey.  And my favourite dinosaur, Velociraptor.

My interest in the telecoms and data space is because I was once a Telstra retail outlet owner.  I co-owned the shop with my former husband of 20 plus years, but after we got divorced, he decided that he wanted the shop and since my middle name is “Generous” I relinquished my share in the business and every other partnership I had with him.  

Although certain aspects remain, including living my life like the main character from Oscar Wilde’s play Lady Windermere’s Fan,  just as her, I have an unflinchingly moral outlook on life.  I still see life as a ‘sacrament’, my ideal is love and compassion.  But unlike her, my view of purification being a sacrifice, has changed,  for me purification is only a state of mind.  A pure heart, soul and the mind – I shall no longer sacrifice.  A bit clichéd – yes it is, but at the same time, I tend to be a bit on the selfless side – its a motherly instinct on my part.  A bit too deep to explain, however my outlook is conscientiously enunciated by  Lord Darlington during the card game when the conversation is inclined towards ‘good women ‘ and ‘bad men ‘ to which he so sedulously adds:

No, we are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.” 


When it comes to mobile operating systems, I am an android enthusiast.  I believe that Apple is overrated and overpriced and secondly, I don’t like iTunes.  I was an iOS/Apple user until Apple released iPhone 6 in September 2014, when I became a born again Android-er.  It seemed to me that someone had rolled a rolling-pin over the iPhone 5 and made it flatter and taller which turned into an iPhone 6.  So I bit the bullet and picked up the Samsung Galaxy Edge 4 from the shelf at the Store and never looked back.  I still own two iPads, the 2nd Gen with my name engraved at the back and the iPad Air, I only use it to  sporadically and lightly stalk people on the ‘Interweb’ and for testing the responsive-ness of the sites that I build, on an iOS device/tablet. iOS users tend to disagree with me, however, Apple hasn’t come up with anything innovative after iPhone 6. It took them forever to embrace NFC and flash – although one might argue whether they were compelled to embrace these technologies only to keep up with Android and the critical reviews of existing users.  Fair enough, credit to Apple because eventually they adopted technology which existed even before Apple released its first iPhone.  I am in love with my Samsung products/toys which includes my mobile device, the Samsung Galaxy S8+, I find it interesting that a mobile device can be used for so many things, I use mine to tap and pay, use the universal remote app to control my TV, Foxtel and to get Michael moving.  Michael is my vacuum cleaner.   I suppose it’s accurate to state that I use my mobile device 20% of the time to make and receive telephone calls and 80% for other things then calls.   No one calls me (insert sad face here), I only talk to my daughters, my solicitor who is lovely but he always has bad new for me, my mother, brother and Telstra. 

Why Telstra?  Please sit back and lets discuss Telstra shall we.  I always have issues with them, it’s either about incorrect billing or when my Wi-Fi speed drops below 30mbps.  Yes you read it correct, my Wi-Fi speed averages 50mbps on wifi and up to 100mbps on the Ethernet, and that’s Cable 3.0.

This is super-fast considering NBN’s Fibre to the Premise (FTTP) which offers similar speeds and Fibre to the Node (FTTN) and Fibre to the Building (FTTB) is pretty sluggish at 25mbps average downloads.  Even if you choose to pay for speed boost, your NBN service can never go faster than the maximum line speed available at your premises.  This means for FTTN and FTTB, the maximum speed achievable on the NBN at your premises may be slower than the speeds offered by the “Very Fast or the Super-Fast Speed Boosts, meaning a speed boost will not improve the speed performance.  My opinion on Australia’s NBN – not much, lightly low, and Australia’s NBN sucks like Michael, my vacuum cleaner.  It’s a wasted investment for not predominately focusing on wireless rather a fibre network.

NBN Co’s justification as to why they were/are rolling out FTTN rather than FTTP, is, according to NBN Co, FTTP is too expensive for Australia, claiming that Australia is not on a level playing field with other countries that have FTTP – seriously ?  So Mr Turnbull decided to buy the the useless Copper from Telstra and Optus at an exorbitant price only to find that the copper was badly maintained and is useless and will cost billions to upgrade because “DUH” Copper is more expensive than fibre.  Now the Fibre goes to the node and the copper runs from the node to the premise.   

Malcom christens his second grade NBN – MTM – Multi-Technology Mix or is it Malcolm Turnbull’s Mess ?

 

NBN’s justification is based on population density.  NBN Co says that Australia’s low population density is at the main problem.  NBN Co is correct in saying that Tokyo, Hong Kong, Seoul has high population densities, however they goes on to compare the population density of Singapore with the average population density of the whole of Australia. 

NBN Co fails to mention that 90 per cent of Australians — those people originally targeted with FTTP under Labor’s NBN — are in cities and towns with relatively high population densities.  Nobody wants to admit that the strategy changed with the change in the Government from the conception of NBN to its rollout.  Secondly, their justification for not rolling our FTTP is because of the rollout cost. NBN Co has been crying for many years that the cost of FTTP will be $4000 (appox) per premise.  This justification is misleading, since the past 3 years, the roll out practices for other benchmark countries have reduced the FTTP costs up to 40% .   Why cant NBN Co validate their number against international benchmarks?

Lets not go far, just across the Tasman, our friendly neighbour’s, New Zealand operators have reduced their rollout costs by 44%.  New Zealand’s Chorus has indicated that  that they have reduced the cost of deployment from about NZ$4400 in 2013 to about NZ$2800 in 2016. (Source: Tucker RS, (2017). [online] Available at: http://telsoc.org/ajtde/2017-03-v5-n1/a94.) Excellent research article by Rod Tucker from University of Melbourne – worthwhile read.


Moving on… bragging on… Let’s get a cuppa tea and some popcorn shall we.

I have a 27 inch Samsung curved gaming monitor which I use for my website work, a tiny bit of Netflix and YouTube for informational activities,  I must admit that YouTube can be very scheming as it deceits you into watching more videos and often an hour later of watching work-related DIY video,  I am looking at “How to train your fish”, when I dont even have a fish, if I had a fish I would eat it and not train it – thinking again, train a fish to do what?    I love action movies and documentaries over chick flicks. I have been a fan of DC and Marvel since a child, and sometimes I believe that I am the 7th Avenger, a clumsy one of course.  I have a collection of movie files in a couple of hard drives.  My collection includes and is not limited to, Disney banned cartoons – these are from the days when the Characters used derogatory terms, and they smoked.  I also have the entire collection of Mad Max, Die Hard, Monty Python, Fresh Prince of Bel Air and all other 80’s and 90’s classics.

 I loathe selfishness, ungratefulness and Users – people who use others only until it fulfilled their needs and wants – these are the lowest human beings – I wish there was a register of such people, I would list one in the top 50

What I dislike?  I don’t like Kale, I never heard of Kale until 2015.  Now Kale is like the biggest thing – ever !   I recently learnt that Kale was considered a weed (dominating and fast growing), however during the War, when food was scarce, Kale was consumed, despised but eaten.  When things got better, no one ate Kale.  Today, Kale is a “super-food”.  I still love my spinach, which is also super tasty and super healthy – remember Popeye and his guns (biceps). Well that’s spinach for you, if you want guns like Popeye eat spinach and if you want a heavenly spinach recipe, contact me, I will tell you my mother’s absolutely divine spinach with lamb and coconut milk recipe which is to die for and I doubt you will find that on Google.  . 

I dislike a lot of shows on TV including reality shows, where abuse is the prevalence, where people are being rude to each other and act crudely when exposed to stressful circumstances – although it could be staged, and  I hope I share my sentiments with you, when I say that it will take a lot for me to compromise my standards, values, and class in the event,  I was asked to portray an image of someone who I am not and will never be.  Having said that, its TV’s bread and butter, although ‘I am a Celebrity, get me out of here’, didn’t save Channel Ten.  I honestly believe that the operating expenses of such shows led to the demise of Channel 10 and not to mention Julia Morris; but let us not go there shall we.  I must admit that I watched the last session of Married at First Sight, then the Stripper left, John and the “Fruit loop” Deb who “really wanted to marry a Polynesian” left, then I left.  That was enough reality TV for me.  I like ‘Who wants to be a Millionaire’.  I am not a big fan of Eddie but Millionaire without Eddie will be like a Lebanese without a cousin; Eddie, in my view has more pulling power than Tiger Woods on tour.  

Tiger Woods, tamed now.  I loved Tiger Wood’s because he was a great Golfer who did things that wasn’t very nice.  I also admired Oscar Pistorious, and would like to believe that it was not deliberate – but all the evidence was against him.  Being a reader, one of my favorite sports biographies is “It’s Not About the Bike – My Journey Back to Life”.  This book was co-authored by Lance Armstrong. I agree that he cheated, but when I talk about this book, it is one of the best written books that I have ever read, from the choice of words, to the style of writing.  I understand that its hard to forget that he cheated, but if we do that for a moment and consider a man’s determination to live, and not accept the fate given to him by his doctors after he was told that he had testicular cancer; then that man is a fighter.  The doctors were kind to say that he had a 50% chance of living and as he explains that “death is not exactly cocktail-party conversation, I know, and neither is cancer, or brain surgery, or matters below the waist”.  I loved this book so much at that time (still do) that I bought two copies of it 😉  I think it’s just terrible and almost disgusting how everyone has treated Lance Armstrong, considering his achievements in winning seven Tour de France races while on drugs; seriously people, when you are on drugs, I bet you cant even find your bike !  Moral of this story:  Don’t be a die hard sportsperson fan, they either cheat, kill or cheat or they marry Posh Spice; except Jeff Horn, he is a good Brisbane boxer and Madam Butterfly Susie O’Neil because she is just gorgeous.  #TeamHorn and #SusieONeil

I don’t like camping, only because I cannot allow anything creepy crawling over me while I am asleep at night.  I am not scared of spiders or scorpions, however, these little creatures confront you in your sleep, and I believe in fairness, I rather have a battle when I am awake.  I prefer taking part in activities that are clean, and not soggy, muddy and I cannot have a communal bathroom.  On this, I would like to stress that I have done my share of “camping” type of activities when I was in Fiji.  I am probably the best camp fire lighter that you have ever met.  Everyone in Fiji has a wood oven in their backyard for cooking and so did my mother and I have prepared the fire, and cooked in an open fire. Other than that, I have also collected firewood – not from a forest but loaded them in my father trailer from a Timber dealer.


Music – yes, I love listening to it – its therapeutic and food for soul or something like that. I am allergic to cats. I am a sucker for lame jokes. I collect vinyls. Currently my vinyl collection includes, all originals, including Ghostbusters, ABBA, Saturday Night Fever, Grease, 1986 Way to Go, with Jimmy Barnes, David Bowie, Pseudo Echo, Robert Palmer, Billy Ocean and so many more.  If you have vinyls, let’s haggle, or I challenge you in scissors paper, rock.  I win, I take the record and you clean my car; you win, I get to drive you to the airport when ever you need to go to the airport.


Books.  “Anyone who says they have only one life to live must not know how to read a book.” (source TBA).  I have a lot of books and I continue buying books, I like books on my iPad and phone, somehow and magically, I have almost every epub and mobi version that is available on amazon books,  in my possession, however,  I am old school and I still love a hardcover and my paperbacks.  The genres that I prefer is non-fiction and this includes:  autobiographies, biographies, self-development/help, history, war, true crime.  I have read so many books from the time I was a child.  At times I was banned from reading and my book was confiscated until my homework, household chores were done.  I grew up reading Nancy Drew,  Enid Blyton and believe it or not, I loved Robert Louis Stevenson books who was probably the preferred author for English literature at high school back in Fiji.  Treasure Island was my favourite, and I loved the characters of “Billy Bones” and “Long John Silver”.

 I cannot remember how many times I read “Strange Case of Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde”,  I had to read it at least 5 times to fully understand the plot and the characters – but a book that I would read any day

.  

I also like my coffee table books, that I can turn any page and read a paragraph.  My recent read was “Warrior for Truth”, it’s a book about Julian Assange and WikiLeaks and this is not perhaps the right platform to discuss WikiLeaks or Julian Assange.  A few noteworthy mentions: Shantatam by Gregory David Roberts, Who Moved my Cheese by Spencer Johnson,  The Alchemist and Veronica Decides to Die by Paulo Coelho.  There are too many to mention, but this gives me an idea to install and configure a plugin that will link to Amazon and list books that I have read – something like what Facebook currently does (Insert light bulb icon here).  I should also mention one of my favorite authors, Mitch Albom and his books – Tuesdays with Morrie, The Five People You Meet in Heaven, Have a Little Faith – must reads for non-readers.  

I am on Facebook, I rarely visit my personal Facebook, but I manage my clients’ business pages. I am on Twitter so that I can tweet about service failures and the consequent bad customer service experience; most of my “complaint” tweets were/are to Telstra and Australia Post and please let me not start with Australia Post – a big DISLIKE.  These days, I go on Twitter to roll my eyes to the Tweeter-ing habits of Tonald Dump – or whatever his name is. My opinion of this man isn’t good,  where do I start,  he is an utter disgrace and a total waste of space, a narcissist and all the rest of the most colorful words in the English and every other language, however, I rather not waste my time on someone who isn’t worth my time – thank you very much .  It’s a shame that he is in the office which was once held by some very respectful and great men.  Enough of him.  Moving on….. It took me a while to learn Instagram and now I am there to avoid people I have added on Facebook.  I am on LinkedIn because it’s a useless place to network – don’t think it helps my clients as much as Facebook, however it’s just another “Icon” that I can embed to my websites.  I  was on a couple of dating sites – it was fun to look, judge and make comments in my mind about what some men used to write on their profiles, totally ignoring what I wrote on my website, which was equally lame.  I deleted my account because I couldn’t be bothered dating,  it really defeated the purpose of me being on a dating site, although I would go online once in a while with friends to explore the market.  I believe I am a good person, but I feel that I can do a bit more to help people around me.  I have been told that I can be a snob and I admit being slightly stubborn and ignoring issues, I hate conflict but happy to say that I have rarely been in one expect which one person who I was loyal to for 20 plus years.

I am also a 10th Dan jet black belt (better than the normal black) Jujitsu, myagi, do karate, Cobra Kai and other secret martial arts Basically I can train Jackie Chan and Jet Lee (hence the belt) for their grading.  I thought I add this while I was writing about me, although this is something that people say “in your dreams”  which is true !

In summation, I would like to reiterate that, website development is a hobby and I am genuinely here to help and guide anyone who may need some advice, or a hand to draft content, setup, manage their social media and who need any form of assistance with any of their digital marketing requirements and a web presence.   Feel free to contact me if you need any assistance or need any questions answered.  I will try my best to assist you – always.

 

This part is the disclaimer thing:  Price does not include GST. Opinion and claims are subject to change without notice. Some assembly required. Batteries not included.  Views expressed herein are mine, and does not represent any organisation, celebrities, and any authorities.  Opinion expressed in this post may offend or be unpopular, so responsibility is taken if you are sensitive.  Objects in mirror are closer than they appear. If conditions persist, contact a doctor, in an emergency dial 000.   The “Killer Rack” doesn’t refer to the “That” kind of rack but the rack that hold my shoes. Although “that” rack is not bad either.  This user has no affiliation with any movie stars what so ever. The martial arts mentioned and their respective grading including the secret ones maybe either too secret or non-existent.

 

 

 

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